I order you to kiss me
by Sukichan111
Summary: In my life time I had a hard time beliving that anyone ever truely loved me, not my cousin, not my aunt, not the one I swore to marry for the sake of my own sexuality but Sebastian, my demon, my butler, my everything...He loved me eternally and through cold shaken lips I breathed the words "I order you to kiss me" amazing what a childish game can do.
1. why'd i have to fall in love

"Young master" my butler's voice found my ear as he shook my shoulder gently pulling me out of my sleep. I turned to face him. Thos red eyes stared down into my blue ones.

"Sebastian" I muttered. "Breakfast" was all he said in his usual tone. I sat up and my eyes drifted to the trey he had sat down on the nightstand. His gloved fingers started working the buttons on my shirt.

"You'll be fourteen next week" Sebastian muttered softly. "what of it" I turned my head to the side. After what had happened about 3 days ago it's been awkward around the demon.

It was easy to admit that I felt something for my butler. I closed my eyes and thought back to 3 days ago. My aunt had talked me and Sebastian into playing hide and seek with her.

_Flash Back_

_I walked down the hall my eyes skimming for a place to hide. In all honesty I wanted to get this over with. A gloved hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into a closet. "Sebastian" I hissed in a hushed tone._

_He held a gloved finger to his lips and shushed me. I stared up at him. His eyes drifted to my cut knee. I watched the demon get down on his knees "How did that happen" he whispered._

_"I tripped" I lied…I'd fallen dark on some trimmers that were lying on the ground in the garden. "Don't lie to me, my lord" was all he said as he started to do what he could for the cut._

_His face was close to mine. I just blurted it out without thinking "Sebastian kiss me'_

_A smirk appeared on his pale face "is that an order my lord" "yes" I muttered. His lips laid down on mine for the first time. It almost felt innocent but it was so far from it. His lips were warm and soft I could taste the moisture on them._

_Flashback over_

I blushed slightly at the memory. "Young master are you alright" he whispered "are you feeling okay" he removed his glove with his teeth in a sexy as hell manor and pressed his large warm hand to my forehead.

"I'm okay" I smiled softly. He eyed me for a second "that's an odd look" was all he said. "I smiled is that bad" I hissed. "and now your back to being you" he said softly.

"Leave" I hissed again. "Very well then young master. And he was gone. I heard the door click shut. Sebastian had dressed me while I was having my little flashback.

I laid my head against the palm of my hand "stupid demon" I whispered. "why'd I have to fall in love with you"


	2. Jealousy

_Ch2_

The door creaked open and my head shot up. "Ceil" my aunt whispered. "Madam red" I said softly. a smile graced her red lips.

She crossed the room and took a seat on the bed next to me.

Her eyes drifted to the full breakfast trey on my nightstand. "ceil you haven't been eating lately…why" her voice was soft and sweet….and her eyes were filled with worry.

I knew she was worried…she was one of the few I truly believed cared for me.

"It's nothing" I sighed feeling sorry for my aunt. "Is there a girl" she smiled softly. I shook my head 'I can't tell you". She tilted my chin up with her gloved fingers "you can tell em anything hun" her tone made me feel safe.

She sounded like a mom. I felt her arms lock around my shoulders. I leaned my head against hers and she said "you have to eat though, ceil" I nodded "I will…soon".

"Ever since I last visited you and we played hide and seek you haven't been you" she touched my cheek when she pulled away from the hug.

"What happened" she asked softly. "N-nothing" I felt my cheeks grow warm. She touched my face and smiled "so there is a girl". I shook my head…technically I wasn't lying….this involves Sebastian and I'm pretty sure he's male.

There was a knock at the door…I knew who it was. "Enter" I said softly. The tall raven haired demon walked in. "Sebastian" My aunt whispered "do you know what's wrong with Ceil" she asked.

"I'm right here" I reminded her. "Not eating, staring off into space all the time, loss of sleep" the demon smirked "I'd say he's in love".

"But Ceil doesn't lie" my aunt said softly "he said there was no girl".

"Maybe there isn't…there could be a boy did that ever cross your mind madam" I could tell by the tone in his voice he was enjoying this conversation.

He was enjoying it I was just hating life a little more with every word of it. Apparently she let the though cross her mind because she gasped and passed out on my bed four minutes later.

I stared at her then looked up at my butler. "You" I hissed at him "come here" my words came out in a growl tone. He walked over to me.

"Now lean over so I can tell you something" I put on a cute smile for him.

He leaned over so I could get to his ear. "closer" I whispered. He did as he was told (like always). "I HATE YOU" I screamed as loud as I could. He pulled away and smiled to show it didn't affect him.

"Young master" he said softly. "What" I muttered pulling my blanket up to my sleeping aunt's shoulders. "I'll see you down stairs in a bit" and then he was gone.

I turned the light out as I followed him out the door. "You're either shy or talkative lately" he said as we walked down the long corridor. "I didn't give you permission to speak" I hissed.

"And I didn't ask it…I simply made a statement" he said not turning to look at me. "And you having a much harder time following orders" I muttered in my usual tone. "Whatever you say" he turned and gave me a light smile.

"I'm gonna go out in the garden" I walked toward the door. He grabbed me by the shoulder 'I don't want you falling on the trimmers again" he whispered. "How'd you- arghh I don't care what you want" I hissed.

He took my small hand in his large one and walked me out to the garden "I simply meant I wanted to come with you" he smiled again. I nodded "fine". I sat down by the little pond when I got out to my families garden.

Sebastian sat up on one of the chairs in the pagoda and watched me. I dipped my pale fingers in the water. It was cold…I watched how it rippled. I heard a familiar laugh. "Grelle" I muttered.

"Oh Sebby" was the next thing I heard. "yep…Grelle" I muttered to myself "watch out Sebastian". I turned my head and watched the red head flirt with my butler. Before…

it wouldn't have bothered me…but right now…I wanted to see that red head dead. "GRELLE" I hissed standing up. He turned with that freaky smirk of his "yes kid". "GET AWAY FROM HIM" I covered my mouth with both hands.

I'd lost control, I couldn't believe it. My jealousy just took over. The demon walked over to me and knelt over and whispered at my ear 'I have no interest in him love" he said softly.


	3. our sick twisted bond

My blue eyes grew wide and I stared up at him. "What" I breathed. "Young master come with me" he grasped my hand in his. "NO" I whined trying to pull away. I was confused I didn't like it. "it's no longer a choice" was all he said.

Next thing I knew he was tugging me down my hall. We stopped at my bedroom door. "Sebastian I demand to know what the fuck your doing" I raised my voice. I raised my left hand to slap him.

He caught it with his hand before I could hit him. He kissed each finger and pulled me smirked looking down into my eyes "such cute little boys shouldn't use words such as 'fuck' in that manor" he said seductively.

I crossed my arms "Oh how should I use it then" He leaned over at my ear "scream it" he was so enticing…so beautiful. I back up until I was against the wall. He moved closer to me "what do you want" he whispered in his usual tone.

The tone he used when expecting some kind of order or demand. "I...I order you to kiss me" I said softly. He smirked and leaned over laying his lips down on mine. My eyes closed and I settled into his warmth and the taste of his sweet kiss.

Grelle would so kill to be me…I thought to myself with a slight smile as I kissed him back. His tongue flicked over my lower lip and I blushed. He lifted me so my legs wrapped around his waist.

My arms wrapped around his neck and I continued kissing back. This bond…this behavior is over the line…way over the line. If the fact that he's my butler and hell he's a demon doesn't make some kind of difference.

The fact that…I'm only 13 years old should. This bond is so sick…so twisted…so fucked up. I felt tears forming in my eyes when I thought of this. If I noticed it…soon he would to.

He'd forget me…all he wants is my soul. He can have it…I don't want it without him. He pulled away and looked into my eyes "I'm not gonna leave you" he smiled softly.

"But.." he cut me off "I don't care ceil…I love you". "WHAAAA" a noise sounded from the doorway. I turned my head to look. A very sad looking red-head reaper was standing in the door way with a slack jaw and tears in his eyes.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and put me down. "COMON SEBBY YOU'LL MAKE OUT WITH THAT KID BUT YOU WONT EVEN KISS MY CHEEK HOW IS THAT FAIR" Grelle whined.

"I hate the sound of your voice but you never shut up, how is that fair" Sebastian muttered. I leaned up against the wall and crossed my arms…"he'll figure this out soon…that this is wrong" I said softly to myself.

This sick twisted bond we have….


	4. What about a twisted blond boy?

**_2 weeks later_**

I snapped out of my random thoughts when Sebastian touched my cheek with his finger tips to get my attention during my violin lesson. "What" I muttered resting my cheek in my left palm.

"Aren't you just the cutest" he smiled softly "pay attention"

"This isn't important" I hissed standing up.

"It is" My demon lover smiled sweetly at me, probably hoping I'd give in easy.

He knew me to well for that. It was a stupid attempt. "What are you so hung up on" he said softly.

"I'm meeting that Elizabeth girl today…the one I'm supposed to marry" was all I could think to murmur out…it was true.

Suddenly the doors burst open and my head snapped up again. "Madam Red how are you today" Sebastian smiled in his usual tone offering to take her coat.

"No thank you…you..You pedophile" she hissed at him.

"Oh no" I muttered quietly.

"Listen Ceil, you're not marrying Lizzy" she smiled.

"Really…why'd it change" I asked surprised.

"I made some adjustments but…baby if you like boys forcing a girl on you wouldn't be right" she continued.

"S-so I'm marrying" I was caught off guard by this…how'd she find out?

'this is Alois Trancy" she smiled as a blond boy with a sadistic look in his blue eyes walked through the door.

He looked to be about my age. There was a tall man behind him.

Just by the look of him I could tell that his butler had something in common with Sebastian. "I guess he is cute" the blond smirked.

Suddenly the sound of a crack forming in the wall filled the room. We all looked at my demon whose hand was placed at the center of the huge crack.

"Sebastian" I hissed "fix this up" I heard a complying "yes my lord" as I left the room.

The blond followed me "Your names Ceil right"

"Yeah"

"Cool I'm Alois "

"Whatever"

"I like chess"

"Really"

"You're not talkative are you" he said in a soft tone.

I turned to him "what was your first clue"

He smirked an evil smirk and ran his tongue over his lower lips in a weird way 'Your interesting"

I stared at him….he isn't the happy child he looks like.

"I'll be back" I said softly walking to my room.

Sebastian was closing the curtain when I walked in.

"Ceil I'm so pissed off it hurts" he hissed so looking at me.

Now that we were lovers I only made him call me young master around others so people thought us to be normal. When we were alone it was stupid.

"I'm mad to" I muttered.

He turned to me and cupped my cheek with his hand, I stared up into his beautiful red eyes.

"I love you" he kissed my forehead.

I tried to not show the true emotion I felt when I said "I love you to…forever"

He laid his warm lips down on mine and pulled me close.

This was so physically wrong….but it felt right

With Alois its more right than wrong….but it feels so erroneous just being around him.

I felt the tears bubbling up to my eyes as he kissed me.

In truth I loved him and couldn't hide the fact…that I loved him…and that it killed me to know I wouldn't always have him.


	5. my new problem

I shot up out of bed late that night. Sweat rolled down my pale face. I clutched my head in my hands completely ignoring the blond that now slept peacefully next to me. "Ciel" the blond's voice met my ears as he sat up rubbing his left eye with his fist "what's wrong"

"Nothing, leave me alone" I muttered. His thin arms wrapped around my shoulders and I froze up.

"It's only a nightmare" he whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut as he pulled me closer. My head rested against his chest and his chin rested on my head. Ii heard the door creek open and out the corner of my blue eye I saw Sebastian standing in the doorway with a pained look on his pale face.

"Go, you're not needed here" Alois yelled to him.

"Yes your highness" Sebastian whispered closing the door.

_No….he's wrong…..I need you….._the words never left my mouth but the resounded through my head. I wanted so badly to call him back here. To throw my arms around him…..

I don't remember if I went to sleep that night….I don't remember much at all from that night

All I knew was right now I was sitting in a chair with a passive look on my pale face as Sebastian tried to get my attention for a violin lesson.

"Young master what is your problem this morning" he said softly tilting my chin up with the end of the violin bow. I jerked my head away "Nothing"

The doors burst open and in jumped a scantily clad blond boy in heeled boots. Now I had a problem. "I'll be in the garden" I muttered sauntering across the room. I wasn't too shocked to hear Alois making an attempt to speak to the demon.

I was shocked when that dark haired demon replied "yes your highness….I do care about him"

"We'll let him go, you see Sebby, Ciel is mine now and he shall never be returned to you so flush that pipe dream of being with him away. It won't ever come true" the blond laughed with some sadistic smirk to his tone.

"I don't appreciate you talking of my young master in a way that makes him sound like property" Sebastian tried to sound pleasant.


	6. same here

My heart kicked against my chest…..my demon was actually being patient now. I didn't understand why he was so mad earlier but he's so clam now. The doors creaked open and out walked my demon who lifted me into the crook of his right arm.

"It's called being grown up" he said with a smile.

"What is" I muttered crossing my arms.

"Being patient" he whispered.

"So you do have a plan" I whispered back.

"Of course" he said with that smile again.

He walked me out to the garden and gently sat me down in the flowery grass. I couldn't hold back a slight smile as he sat down next to me "I didn't tell you to sit" I muttered.

He flicked my cheek with his tongue "I didn't ask"

A felt my cheeks grow warm and covered my face with my hands. "Ciel I saw you blush" he smiled.

"You don't need to continue seeing it" I said with a harsh tone.

The demon leaned over at my ear and whispered "I love you"

My heart kicked….if I said it back…was I week?

Yes to love is to be week so "same here" I whispered letting my hands fold in my lap.

A flash of pain ran through his red eyes. That pain he felt hurt me as well but I just couldn't tell him I loved him to….I just couldn't do it.

Sorry its so short I wrote in the morning before school and oly had ten min. the next one will be longer I promise 


	7. yes your highness i hate you

"Love isn't week" the demon said softly as I moved a little farther away from him.

"If it's so strong why are people making deals with the devil for help these days" I said in my usual demanding tone.

"But it doesn't make you week to love" he smiled softly.

"It's a weakness" I yelled standing up.

He didn't follow me when I walked off nor did he say anything. I walked up to my room where Alois was sitting on my bed staring at the red ring on his finger.

"You have a bluish purple one right" he giggled.

"It's more blue but yeah" I crossed my arms and stood at ledge of my bed. The blond leapt from my bed and hooked his thin arms around me.

"I like you Ciel" he smiled that stupid smile I can't stand. Yeah he was cute I didn't care.

"Well I hate you Alois" I growled. He stepped back and stared into my eyes…a twinge of pain flowed through his.

"Honestly your loud, hyper, annoying, a brat and yes your highness none of those are good things" I said with a harsh growl to my tone. Tears formed in his blue eye and the fourteen year old ran right past me and down the hall.

I stepped forward and crawled into my bed. I laid there on my side and sighed out loud. I removed my eye patch and set it down on my nightstand. With another sigh I lay back down and closed my eyes.

It came at me in flashes…red eyes…beautiful raven hair….pale skin…soft demanding yet sweet voice "I love you" it says.

"Why'd he have to say that" I muttered to myself.

"Because it's the truth" the demon was standing in the doorway when I looked up.

"I knew you would lose your temper and go off on that kid" he laughed softly.

I rolled my eyes "I didn't lose my temper"

He knelt down at my bed side and smiled "I love you, bo-chan"

I felt the stare I was giving him….it would have scared any of my other maids or butlers "same here"

Again I watched that pain flicker in his red eyes. It looked like he'd bitten his lower lip….he didn't say anything "very well then Bo-chan, I'll get you a book and then put you to bed" and he was gone.


	8. stay

I wound up crying that night. Id hurt Alois…but more importantly id hurt Sebastian. I loved the demon and I hurt him. I'm terrible. I love him and I know it so why can't I say it?

I watched my tears soak into my pillow as the door creaked open. "Bo-Chan" the demon whispered. I buried my face into my pillow so he wouldn't see the tears. He crossed the room without a sound and sat down on the ledge of the bed.

"Ciel" he whispered softly.

"Gomen" I sobbed into my pillow. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he turned me over onto my back. He wiped my tears away with his thumb and smiled "don't be sorry young master"

I stared up at him "I wanna say it but….everyone I l-loved before you...the fire "and I started sobbing again. I'd been holding these tears back awhile and Sebastian was the only one id dare show them to…because I do love him.

"I understand that bo-chan but you have to understand this" he smiled and kissed my lips softly "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you"

"But my soul…and our deal and I'm getting married"

"and I have a plan as was said before" he shushed me.

He stood and started to walk toward the door.

"Where is he" I muttered.

"the guest room" the demon answered lightly.

My heart kicked against my chest as the words left my mouth "stay"

He looked at me over his shoulder "is that an order"

I bit my lower lip "no….it's a plea"

"Then I'll stay" he smiled lying down next to me. I snuggled up against him as his arms folded around me. "I love you Ciel, goodnight"

"Same here" I buried my face into his shirt.


	9. the lie i told to save you, my beloved

My eyes opened early the next morning only to find my lover gone. I sat up stretching my arms out when I did. The door creaked open and in walked the blond I was to wed tomorrow morning. "I see it now" he whispered.

I raised a dark eye brow at him "what?"

"You're in love with him" he said looking up at me with cold blue eyes. I bit my lip. Now it's been put out there for me I could just tell the truth, I could tell him that I'm desperately in love with Sebastian.

But that would be selfish….in fact I had been very selfish lately. I had turned my back on Lizzy….a girl I had sworn to love….that wasn't right. Id endangered Sebastian, if anyone outside of my home were to find out about us….I bit my lip harder tasting blood in my mouth….how could I just sit here with that fact in mind…..

And the blond boy in front of me now….I didn't like him, that was true but it seemed that all he wanted was love and I refused him…and if anyone outside of my mansion found out we were getting married….he'd suffer as my beloved would.

None of that's right…..I had to fix it. I leapt from my bed and ran down the long hallway in my night-shirt. I heard Sebastian's footsteps following me. I'd have to lie to him….it would have to be a very convincing lie….because I'd have to make him believe it.

I again bit my lower lip _you don't love him….you don't need love….it's stupid and week to love….its below your pride to love another man_ in my head I kept coming up with hateful things to say about love and about my love for my butler.

I turned around to face him "go away" I yelled.

"Bo-chan"

"No" I yelled again 'I never said I loved you because I never did and I'm not obligated to lie for the sake of your disgusting feelings, its sick, I know it and you know it and I...I'm marrying Lizzy I'm going to speak with my aunt about it now" my throat hurt from yelling so much.

So much pain flashed through his crimson eyes that it hurt me to look into them. "I hate your guts you disgusting pedophile" I screamed as loud as I could before turning my back to my beloved and began running down the hall.

_You hurt him to save him….._I thought to myself


	10. before you lose him

"So you see a mistake was made madam" I smiled softly at my aunt. I was trying my best to be convincing….but it's so hard to be persuasive when your hearts broken. I hurt….my beloved so much over this….but its what's best right…isn't it?

"So you want to marry Lizzy then" she turned her head to the side with a questioning look on her pale face.

I swallowed air "yes, there's no one in the world I l-love more" my voice cracked when I said 'love'….I don't particularly like to lie so I'm not very good at it. And when the words 'I love Lizzy' leave my lips my voice will crack because that is defiantly lie.

"But Ciel" my aunt whispered pushing a strand of my black hair behind my ear "you hate Lizzy"

My face turned pink "I…I…I do not"

"I'll rearrange it for it and you'll be married tomorrow morning as was planned" she smiled a sad smile as if she'd seen into my soul….._my soul…the thing my beloved so desperately craved…the thing that bound us at first….now were bound by something more than my soul…..or I guess we were bound by what some call love._

I shook the though from my head….forget it…I told myself softly in my head. Alois left the manor in return of his own later that same night.

I sat still at my desk only moving to turn the pages of the book in my hands. My eyes kept drifting toward the raven haired demon that stood at my side pouring tea. I opened my mouth to speak but what I wanted to say never came out…instead I said 'trying to drown me in tea again?"

"No young master" the raven said softly avoiding my eyes. "Don't call me that" I hissed. "What would you like to be called" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Every bad name in every language you know" I sighed into the palm of my pale hand. "Why would you wish to be looked down upon" again the raven spoke softly just above a whisper.

"Such is the price for a _liar_" the word lair left my lips and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"The price of a liar" whispered the demon "what lie have you told"

I bit my lower lip again until I tasted my blood in my mouth "never mind" I muttered throwing my book to the floor. The raven haired demon quickly picked it up but I was gone before he looked up again.

I was so mad….I had to marry….had to. There was no choice. But that girl….my god I hate her. And the one I love…is….taboo to my kiss…touch…voice all of the raven is forbidden to me. I walked slowly toward my darkened bedroom. I slowly sauntered over to my large bed and fell to the mattress on my stomach clutching the cold sheets in my hands.

I inhaled the wonderful scent that surrounded my room…it smelled like the red eyed demon I loved so dearly. I felt the tears bubble up to my ocean blue eyes…I'd miss the raven haired demon….after I married Lizzy.

I felt something tangled in the sheets I'd been holding onto. My eyes blurred with tears when I looked at the small piece of paper in my hand. The writing was neat and clear but my burred eyes didn't help me much at all.

The little note read…

_Say you love him before you lose him_

- _Alois Trancy_


	11. my love is forbidden to me

I sat up in my bed, it was still dark and I'd say it was around midnight. I thought I could simply yell for my demon lover….but for once….I didn't want him to run to me….i wanted to run to him. My feet hit the floor with a loud THUD and I began running down the dark corridors of my mansion….in search of Sebastian.

I came up to the kitchen, my breathing was labored and it hurt to move my legs anymore. The light was on and there stood the demon, it looked like he was planning the wedding cake for tomorrow.

"Sebastian' I whispered.

He looked at me over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

"I have to tell you something" I felt my hand place itself over my heart.

He turned to me and smiled "and as your butler my love I will listen"

I bit my lip at first…Sebastian wouldn't just die like those I lost to the fire. "Sebastian" I whispered my voice a little shaken…I wasn't sure how to say it, but I had to sound like I was still a stubborn ass or he'd never let me live it down "I'm in love with you" I said just above a whisper.

"Come again young master, I didn't hear you"

"I LOVE YOU" I yelled loudly.

His large hand fell gently over my mouth and he kissed the top of my head "let's not wake everyone up my love"

I found myself kissing his gloved hand holding it to my mouth with my own hands. He'd known that I loved him; he'd called me 'love' before I'd even said I loved him. I pulled his hand free from my grip and knelt down lifting me up.

His lips found mine as he laid me down on the long island that sat in the center of the kitchen. I slammed my eyes shut and kissed back. I was so eager to feel his warm lips against mine once more that my kiss came out clumsy and un-practiced.

I opened my mouth and his tongue entered and began probing around. My tongue found his and began playing around with it. He didn't even bother to unbutton my shirt he only ripped it open. I jerked my head back away from the kiss "HEY" I barked.

"Forgive me young master" I felt his warm lips on my pale neck. He sank his teeth into my shoulder causing me to whimper in response.

He licked my collar bone and to my waist line nipping at the soft flesh just below my stomach. I let out a moan as his teeth worked the button on my pants. Soon they were cats to the kitchen floor and Sebastian was licking up my thigh. His lips again found mine and I kissed back with wet lips and clumsiness as his hands began probing my body.

"Oh my god" a gasp came from the door way. "Madam red" I whispered as my lover and I stared at her where she stood in the doorway. She was pale and her hands were balled into fists "I had no idea that this was the kind of relationship the two of you shared" she hissed.

"Madam-"she cut me off "Ciel lets go find some clothes and come with me".

I nodded but when I picked my shirt up it was ripped to shreds I quickly dropped it and looked at Sebastian with a questioning look.

He removed his jacket and handed it to me giving me a soft smile to assure me that everything would be okay. I pulled the black jacket on and wrapped it around my body to cover myself. "What the hell was that" my aunt hissed as I followed her down the hallway.

I was done, I was tired of sparing people's feelings and holding back my own "it was everything it looked like" I muttered.

"I knew you guys kissed a few times but I had no idea you'd be having relations" she sighed.

"In all honesty neither did I" I whispered.

She turned to em and placed her hands on my shoulders "there's so much wrong with this" she whispered "he's only a butler. He's another man, he's far too old for a child like yourself" she said softly "all of these are sins to you my dear"

I felt the tears bubble up to my blue eyes and they spilled over my cheeks "why is the one I love the one who's forbidden to me" I sobbed into her neck as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Life isn't always fair Ciel" she whispered with a loving tone.

"What's gonna happen now" I looked up at her.

"I came down here because another servant saw you…" her voice trailed off.

"So" my voice filled with fear.

"Sebastian will be executed" she wiped my tears away with her finger.

"But he won't die" I protested.

"Not like people here don't know he's hard to kill" she muttered "they'll make sure he's dead"


	12. the death of my lover

_When I woke up the next morning I didn't look at it as my wedding day, I looked at it as the day my lover would be taken form em and I'd be seduced into a life of lies. I stared at my reflection in the mirror._

_It was nothing special, just a pale boy with black hair and blue eyes…and a miserable look on his face. "Sebastian" I whispered softly…no human could kill Sebastian….I kept telling myself this as I stumbled helplessly down the long corridor toward the front door._

_"CIEL" a familiar voice found my eyes and I looked over my shoulder at….Alois?_

_"what are you doing here" I whispered shocked. He rushed toward me "Claude claimed to have a weapon he knew would kill you demon" he whispered. My eyes grew wide…that sword that Hannah harbored inside of her would kill a demon._

_"My…" I couldn't even bring myself to finish a sentence. I was so stupid everyone else I'd ever loved died so why would he be any different….why did I have to go back to him…why?_

_Tears spilled over my cheeks I felt Alois wrap his arms around me but I didn't respond I just kept crying. "Come on" he whispered "were expected to attend the execution" was all he said. My aunts hand grabbed mine out of nowhere and she began dragging me toward the back yard where she planned to have my lover killed._

_Every member of the household was watching as guards surrounded everyone in the yard…."I dont understand why he wouldn't just attack" I sniffed whispering to Alois. The blond looked at me sadly "he's been drugged, he can't even fight a little right now" he whispered placing a comforting hand on my shoulder._

_Claude pushed Sebastian to his knees and raised the demon sword above my lovers head. I bit my lip as my demons red eyes met my blue ones he mouthed the words "Aishite Imasu" and more tears formed in my eyes._

_"I love you to" I whispered knowing he'd hear it._

_The sunlight reflected on the sword as Claude moved to bring it down. Without meaning to without warning my body moved its self and I flung my body over my lovers. The demon sword sliced a deep cut in my left arm "ahhh" I let out a pained scream._

_Sebastian looked week and sick "Sebastian this is an order" I whispered at his ear "get us out of here quickly" _

_He didn't respond right away and guards were charging at us and fast. I felt his arms wrap around me and he leapt up over the crowed. They were still chasing us. "You don't have the strength to carry me right now" I kissed his cheek softly as I dried the tears in my eyes._

_"Put me down and I'll catch up with you" I whispered softly as I twirled a strand of his black hair around my finger then let it fall back into place. He nodded knowing I was right and he let me down and began running._

_I ran as fast as I could behind him. A large hand fell over my mouth and dragged me backwards "restrain him" My aunt yelled to Claude who had a hold of me now._

_I jerked my head up and away from his hand "RUN SEBASTIAN" I screamed "RUN AND DON'T COEM BACK HERE, I LOVE YOU SEBASTIAN, RUN"_

_My eyes grew wide when Claude raised his hand and through the demon sword through the air. "NO" I cried out as I watched it slice right through Sebastian._

_My demon lover fell to the ground, unmoving and covered in blood._

_"NO" I cried "NO"_

_My aunt kissed my cheek "you'll thank me later' she whispered ordering Claude to take me to my room._

_"Why'd you kill him" I hissed as I sat on my bed. Claude leaned up against my bedroom wall. "I wanted your soul, isn't it obvious" he muttered with a slight smirk._

_"I would never make any kind of deal with you so you will never have it" I hissed._


	13. its my turn to take action

_I curled up in my bed that felt so empty that night with tears filled eyes I whispered "I l-love you Sebastian" every word of that was true…only my crying forced my voice to crack. I hadn't married Lizzy that morning, my aunt decided that it wasn't fair when I was in such pain as now._

_So I'll be marrying her tomorrow afternoon. I don't see why I should do anything for them. They took everything from me. Without Sebastian what am I but a mere useless unloved little brat hiding behind a wealthy name?_

_"You are pride its self" a voice replied from the darkness. _

_I shot up "who the hell is there"_

_"Only a mere butler" Sebastian smiled now sitting on the ledge of my bed and leaning closer to._

_I heard myself say his name once more before throwing my arms around his neck "I thought you were gone" I sobbed into the shoulder on his dirty jacket. I felt his arms wrap around me "Bo-chan" he whispered "I will always return to you"_

_And just like that my eyes opened and I looked around…it had been a beautiful wasted dream._

_Sebastian wasn't here….the demon was dead…and not coming back. When I looked up I realized that it was still dark and the moon was still high in the sky. I hardly cared who I hurt anymore. I stood and began rummaging through my clothes._

_I didn't know how to dress myself….so I figured I'd try to figure it out. I pulled my night shirt over my head and cast it aside. I slipped my arms through the arm of my white button up shirt and began to fumble clumsily at the buttons. _

_I sighed missing one and then going back and re-doing them again. After about twenty minutes I _**finally**_ had that stupid shirt on. I felt the irritation in my eyes as I stared down at my navy blue shorts. I picked them up and stared at them some more. "You have to do this" I muttered._

_I slipped one leg in and when I lifted the other I fell backwards hitting the floor. "Ouch" I hissed softly. I could swear I heard someone laughing. Who would be laughing? After about five minutes I was finally dressed right down to my shoes which I figured out how to tie._

_I replaced my eye-patch with more of a bandage and with a bag of clothes and my pride I left my bedroom and walked down to the kitchen. I couldn't bear to look at the table….it was the last time I'd seen Sebastian and knew he'd be okay._

_I grabbed some food and wrapped it in a clean dish cloth and that was it. I walked out the door of the mansion with no intention of returning. The air outside was cold and the sky was dark and starless. I thought about taking the carriage but decided against it. It would attract too much attention._


	14. I wont go back, even if i miss you

_The cold air whispered into the darkened night as I stumbled over _tree roots and large rocks in the woods. It had begun to rain not too long ago and I was wet and cold. My legs hurt badly from running so much, not to mention that bag I'd packed had started to seem really, really heavy.

_I didn't often complain about my conditions unless I was tied up or being ignored but this was just flat out miserable. My eye lids felt heavy as I pushed forward and I found myself saying "Sebastian take me to bed" but he didn't answer….his arms didn't fold around me….he wasn't there._

_I bit my lower lip as the icy rain fell making my clothes cling to my body…making me shiver…making me miss the warmth of my bed…making me miss aunt Ann…making me miss the warmth of Alois's smile…making me miss my annoying Fiancé Lizzy even._

_But more than anything it made me miss my beloved….it made me miss Sebastian and I missed him more than all the others. A warm tear slipped down my pale cheek and I whispered his name to myself. I wasn't going back…I left to escape them….and I won't go back. _

_I will not be weak._

_I ran through the woods stumbling over gravel and rocks as my legs and lungs burned…"Ciel" a soft voice called my name, I searched for the source of that voice…"Seb-" my voice left me and I fell to my knees soaked and exhausted._

_I stared up at a horse driven carriage as Alois thin arms wrapped around me "what are you doing out here" he whispered._

_I let out a strangled "please…" before my eyes closed._

_When my eyes opened again I looked around a large room that I'd never been in before. Alois was asleep at my bed side with his pale fingers wrapped around mine .It was still dark and I studied the way the moon light lit his hair with a silvery color and made his flawless skin illuminate radiantly…._

_I'd never noticed it before but….he was sort of beautiful. I found myself running my fingers through his hair. Those blue eyes opened and the bi-polar blond smiled up at me "what were you doing in the woods" he yawned._

_"Running away" I muttered realizing that I was now dry and wearing one of the blonde's night shirts. He boosted himself up so he was sitting on the ledge of the bed. "From what" he asked softly._

_"Aunt Ann…Lizzy…all of them" was all I could think to say._

_"You could stay here if you like" he tilted his head to the side in an extremely cute manor._

_"Don't pull that crap with me Alois, you're not innocent and we both know it" I crossed my arms over my chest. He chuckled softly._

_"Will you stay if I don't allow Claude in the same room as you" he smiled. I sighed and thought about it. I can't tie my own shoes or brush my own teeth let along live on my own….so unless I wanted to go back…."I'll stay" I whispered. "Just keep him away from me"_

_His arms tightened around my shoulders "Ole" he chirped._

_I sighed, this kid was so random sometimes._


	15. i will always return to you

_I turned over in the huge bed I was to sleep in my first night at the Trancy estate. It was large and felt cold and empty; I suppose it was better than the ground outside though. Still I did feel alone…. Normally I'd have Sebastian stay with me until I fell asleep._

_He wasn't here to do that anymore….so I'd have to get used to going to sleep alone…."Sebastian" I murmured into my pillow "I'm sorry for being such a brat" I yawned "and for never appreciating you…_

_And for not saying I loved you when you first said it to me….I regret not saying it enough" I felt the tears bubble up to my eyes "and now you're gone" I started to sob "and I can't tell you how much I miss you…how alone I feel…and I feel alone because I am…" I was cut off by a large hand covering my mouth._

_"Don't you ever say your alone, you're not" a soft voice whispered at my ear making me shiver. My blue eyes grew wide and I twisted myself around "Sebastian"…_

_"Yes my lord" he smiled softly. He was covered in mud and rain…he was soaked and paler the usual….blood ran down the front of his white dress shirt beneath his torn black jacket. I touched his face with my fingertips "You're alive" I whispered._

_"I said I would always return to you" he reminded me. _

_"Yes, but only in a dream" I whispered again still in shock._

_"My lord I never left you"_

_I remembered hearing someone laugh when I'd fallen getting dressed before I'd run away…."You followed me home…through the woods even… you never died" I wasn't sure if I should be happy for pissed with him._

_"It was simply a cheap trick young master, if I hadn't pretended the sword had hit me they would have never given in and I hadn't the energy to keep running"_

_"So it's okay to give me a heart-attack" I snapped….then I stopped myself "I'm just happy your ok" I said softly. "Why didn't you come to me right away" I rested my head against his chest with a relieved sigh._

_"I wanted to see what you would do, not to mention if I just popped back up someone would have seen me sooner or later in that house"_

_"You knew I'd run, why would you not come to me in the woods?"_

_"My bo-chan needed to learn to survive for once but…sadly he did not learn much" he rested a hand on my head. I melted into his warmth….the warmth I'd missed too much to be mad at him now._

_"Ciel" he whispered catching my attention, forcing me to look up at him. His warm lips covered mine and I kissed back eagerly. His tongue slipped into my mouth and my arms wrapped around his neck._

_"I love you" I whispered in between kisses as warm tears streamed down my cheeks "I love you"…"I love you"_

_"I love you to bo-chan…young master…Ciel I love you to"_


	16. what makes up you and I

My teeth clenched around my lower lip as my cerulean eyes slowly opened. I almost didn't want to open them…afraid to wake and find my beautiful demon lover gone…to find out he'd never returned. "I'm here my lord" His velvet voice forced me to turn toward him on impulse. I started up at him where he lay next to me his weight supported on his right elbow as his hand supported his pale cheek.

I felt my cheeks grow slightly pink as my blue eyes met his red ones. He was too beautiful. Pale and perfect. His now un-gloved hand caressed my cheek softly and sweetly as his fingers trailed down my jaw line to my collar bone "My Ciel" he said softly.

"Kiss me it's an order" I tried to keep some authority in my tone…I'd missed him far too much to care anymore. His warm lips covered mine and my small arms wrapped around his neck. In my head…I knew all too well…how foolish all of this was….He was a man…and a demon….all of it was shameful. Why did he have to be the one I loved?

My head snapped toward the door as a certain blond pushed it open "Alois" I whispered. I watched sadness flood those blue eyes as they fell on Sebastian. Next came his all too fake smile as he said "He's ok….I'm so happy for you C-Ciel" he quickly turned and fled the room. Pain burned in my stomach as I sat up and looked around the room.

Alois….was the one I was supposed to marry….after aunt Ann found out….and all through that time Alois remained faithful at my side…a wonderful friend…one more added to the few I believed truly loved me. He knew I loved Sebastian…he knew that better than I did. He still stayed by me.

I could only try to imagine what he was feeling right now. "Sebastian" I said wispily "I have an order for you"

"Yes, my lord?"

"Set out with me tonight….find the one who massacred my family…kill them…and then me"

"M-My lord" for the first time I heard him stammer.

I turned my blue eyed gaze toward him "was I at all unclear?"

"I do not wish to kill you….not now…not anymore"

I felt my heart jump "What exactly do you want then" I hissed.

"Is that not simple, I wish to stay by the young masters side forever"

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes…I was confused….my head hurt…it was painful just breathing I didn't want to live anymore….did I?

"YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE" I screamed out on some kind of impulse. I watched sadness over take his usually calm lifeless eyes.

"I love my young master" was all he said in a husky voice "I do not intend to go a single moment without him….not ever again"

I bit my lower lip…"why" I hissed "WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL?"

He pushed my back against the mattress of the king sized bed and stared down into my eyes. "Remarkable beauty, sinful pureness, and the harshest of brutality the world has to offer, a soul like no other, Strength like no humans ever seen, cheeks like a rose, lips that taste of the sweetest candy on this earth and a smile so rare and beautiful it could bring Saton himself to tears" his voice was calm yet almost harsh "these are the things that make up Ciel Phantomhive, the one I love"

I felt my cheeks grow warm "h-honesty that is a lie, warmth that is like no other, beauty that has renewed my sight…and a…a kiss I could never be without" my voice shook a bit "these are the things that make up m-my Sebastian….the one I love"

A smile spread out on his pale lips as he kissed mine sweetly "what will we do after you get your revenge" he laid his head down on my chest.

"I think that's why I wanted to die….because after that….I don't know what I'll do" I said softly moving my small fingers through his raven hair.


	17. This is it

Late that night dark whispers resounded throughout the hallway outside the bedroom door…the voices were stirred and said 'unclean, unnecessary, and unwanted' over and over. I remembered these words…though I hadn't really heard them used in this manor since the Drocell incident. I sat up and looked around hoping to find the source of these terrible whispers.

Sebastian was sleeping peacefully at my side. I lightly touched his cheek with my fingertips. He'd done so much for me already….It was time for me to impress him. I could silence those whispers all on my own. Quietly I stepped down from the bed and snuck across the room to the door. The hallway was dark so no light entered through the crack in the door as I opened it.

I walked without sound down the hallway of whispers looking from wall to wall and door to door for their source. I didn't see it. The dark wasn't as scary to me as some kids…few things actually scared me. A shadow whisked across my vision. "Hannah?" I whispered into the darkness. The shadow had obviously been female. 'Ciel' the voice echoed like a ghost throughout the air around me.

I started to run toward the shadow that was no positioned at the end of the hallway. "Hannah" I called lightly trying not to wake anyone up. The carpet tripped me causing me to fall. Before I fell to the ground a hand caught mine. I "Thank you, Hannah" a breathed as I looked up. The eyes that stared down into mine weren't the sad blue that were Hannah's….these eyes were a vibrant purple.

"Hello, Ciel…It's been awhile do you remember me" the twisted smirk on her face changed into an almost inviting smile.

"Angela" The name left my lips like a poison. My heart raced "SEBAS" her hand covered my mouth and nose before I could yell for my demon lover.

"Now, Now" she giggled as she dragged me out into the cold night. Never letting go of my mouth "We can't have dear ole Sebastian budding into this, now can we"

I wriggled my small body and kicked my legs but no matter how much I moved her death grip didn't budge. A pair of large white wings sprouted from her back and we were lifted into cold October air.

"Keep moving child and I break your fragile neck" her voice suddenly changed to one that almost sounded male. I remembered Angela, but after our last run in with her I never saw her again. The air nipped at my skin to the point where it felt like a knife.

My eyes scanned over the ground below…over the tree tops of a forest I'd been running through just two days ago. In my head I couldn't help but think that this was it for me. Sebastian was asleep…I couldn't call for him because Angela would not allow it. I closed my eyes and thought back to when I was a child…in those days I played with my cousin Elizabeth…the days when I smiled.

The fire over took my memory…those were the days when…my smile faded. A faint smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I remembered beating Aunt Ann at chess every time the two of us played.

I had a lot…but I also had very little…I had a mason…I had a loving family for the most part. Aunt Ann was always good to me. Still…I had no mother or Father….and although a had a select few that loved me there were many that hated me.

My life was always changing…never the same…always complicated…confusing…never simplistic…and inside all of that confusion there was Sebastian.

The demon with raven hair and red eyes that burned like fire and with a smile that outshined the sun…my butler…my lover…my everything. I trusted Sebastian…I knew he'd never betray me…as a child I was afraid to be alone and because of the raven haired demon I never was. Even when I told myself I hated Sebastian…I knew I needed him.

Without him I would've been dead long, long ago. Looking back I guess dying at the age of 14 wasn't so bad….my life had been almost full. I'd found someone I loved with a burning fire who loved me in return with that same fire….in my opinion knowing that….I think I could dye and not regret it.

The wind against my face ceased as we landed on an old grassy field. I looked around. The grass was dead in some spots and there was nothing but dead grass for miles. The sky was dark and the wind howled like a banshee. At the center of the field there was a large rock plat form. "Now child will you be silent" she asked with a smile. Stared at the ground for a moment….for a second I'd forgotten that her hand was even on my mouth.

It seemed she wasn't planning on giving me a choice. Using her free hand she tore a long piece of cloth from her white sleeve and used it as a gag. I again tried to wriggle free from her. Again my attempt ended in vain. Suddenly her figure changed to that of a white haired boy. She threw my body to the ground with great force.

I landed with a splash in a shallow mud puddle, soaking the right side of the white night-shirt I was wearing. "You're going to die tonight Ciel Phantomhive" a female voice came from the male form Angela had taken on.

I let my cheek fall to the icy water of the puddle I was lying in. Angela kicked me good and hard in the stomach, causing a choking sound to erupt from my throat as a stream of blood leaked from the corner of my mouth.

I knew now….This was it for me.


	18. Forever

It wasn't an Angels style to beat up a young boy…and so she lifted my soaked body into her arms bridal style carrying me to the stone alter that had been so conveniently placed out in this old field. She laid my back down on it and placed my wrist above my hand. My mind was hazy. Like magic once my hands were above my head the table bond them with thorny vines.

I bit my lower lip as the same happened with my feet. 'I'm about to damn you to hell Ciel Phantomhive" A sick smile spread out on her now female lips. She raised a silver blade above her head. Once the blade was above her head I watched Vines form around its handle as if to enchant it.

Moon light flashed against the blade. I closed my eyes remembering the way the sunlight had flashed against the blade of the demon sword just before I had moved to save my lovers life that day. My head fell back as a numbing pain filled my body a warm liquid fell over my chest as more thorny vines wrapped around the blades handle and spread around my body entangling me in their grip.

"Ciel" My lover's voice met my ears. Angela leapt into the air. My vision blurred more and more as my eyes fell on the pale, flawless face of my lover. He and Angela must have begun fighting because their images grew more and more blurry…I guess that meant they were moving around a lot.

I drew in sharp breathes….struggling to keep my heavy lids open. Images began flying back at me…images that were clear as day. His raven hair, his demonic smile, his flawless warm kiss, his velvet voice, his touch….everything that was my demon lover filled my head.

Blood spilled over my pale white lips dying the skin with a pink color. Sebastian and Angela were still fighting….and my vision was growing darker and darker by the moment. I heard another familiar voice calling my name.

I turned my blurry gaze to Alois, who was now tugging violently at one of the vines restraining me. "Don't you leave us Ciel" he grunted trying hard to break that same vine "w-we need you" he kept on violently tearing at the vine that refused to break.

Threw my blurry vision I could see the tears streaming down his pale cheeks. He'd fallen down once or twice on the way here. His white dress shirt was torn…his purple coat was gone….his face and hands were dirty…Alois.

A few moments later the noise in the background grew silent. The fight was over. I could hardly hold my eyes open anymore. "Move aside" Sebastian whispered nudging Alois aside. Sebastian broke the vines effortlessly. My voice was husky and I could barely raise it above a whisper "I love you"

"I love you to" he said softly my hand to his pale cheek. Alois took my other hand in his…his hands were covered in something warm…it was blood…he'd sliced his hands up terribly bad while trying to free me.

"Do you think" my breath hitched violently "I w-was more than a waste of s-space" it hurt to talk…I was trying hard.

Sebastian nuzzled my hand with his face "Of course"

A tried to smile ….nothing hurt anymore it was all numb "I-in the end…a-am I a-as amazing as you t-though m-my soul w-was" each word came out strangled and hard to understand. I knew he understood it.

"Much, much more" I thought I heard his voice crack. That wasn't possible…demons don't cry.

Alois must have been in shock. He wasn't speaking. "Please, My lord" the demon said softly "Give me an order…any order"

"K-kiss me"

_Normal POV_

Sebastian laid his lips down on his young masters and the young boys head fell limp against the stone alter. His skin was white and cold….Ciel Phantomhive had died. Thunder cracked and rain poured down like never before as Sebastian clutched the child's body to his chest.

"Heavens crying" Alois spoke just above a soft whisper. He was wrong…Heaven wasn't crying. Hell was. Tears streamed down the demons pale cheeks as he mourned his lost love. A love he had failed to save.

Sebastian allowed Ciel's body to fall limp against the alter and stepped back picking Alois up as he did. The ground beneath the alter fell apart taking the stone alter and took Ciel into the ground with it. Just as quickly as the ground was destroyed it was restored. Sebastian set the blond down and whispered to him "go home…tell Claude to take you to the Phantomhive estate….tell Madam that there was an accident"

Alois complied by running off toward the woods.

Sebastian walked around the field until he stumbled across a piece of the stone alter that has flown when the rest fell. The demon carried it back to where Ciel was now buried and placed it on top of the ground. He bit the finger tip of his glove and removed it revealing his black demon nails. He carved the words

_Ciel Phantomhive_

_Died on October 17__th _

_Forever loved by his Aunt Angela, Cousin Elizabeth and His demon lover Sebastian._

_I loved you in life Ciel…I shall love you in death…and keep our promise…I will_

_Never leave your side, my love_

Sebastian placed his cheek against the stone and closing his red eyes. Seasons came…and seasons went. It rained and it snowed….it stormed and the sun shined. Never again did the demons eyes open. He slept eternally at his masters' side. He kept his promise….Ciel would never be alone. Sebastian would never leave him.


End file.
